Problem Solving & Advice by Pam Johnson-Bennett Cat Behavior Expert & Best-selling Author
When it comes to properly greeting a cat, you may think all you have to do is walk right up to her, reach down and offer a few loving strokes along her fur. If the cat is familiar with you and likes you, that may be perfectly ok, but if it’s an unfamiliar cat or if she’s reluctant to interact, then the above method will result in you getting scratched or the cat backing away.
Why the Above Method is Wrong When Greeting a Cat
Cats are territorial and they also rely heavily on their sense of smell to determine whether an approaching person or animal is familiar, friendly, or a potential threat. If you just approach an unfamiliar or reluctant cat and try to do an introduction on your terms, you don’t give the cat time to do a scent investigation. As humans, we mostly rely on our sense of sight and sense of hearing to determine whether a person approaching us is familiar or not. With cats, their sense of smell takes over first. Scent communication plays a huge role in cat-to-cat recognition.
If you don’t give the cat time to first do a little scent investigation then she may feel backed in a corner. That, combined with the fact that you’re advancing toward her, can set off alarm bells telling her it’s better to either strike out or just get out of there. From the cat’s perspective, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I know the last thing you want to do when trying to greet a cat is to set off the fight or flight response.
A Bad Pattern
If people repeatedly use that same approach to greet the cat then kitty soon learns it’s better to either just do a pre-emptive strike or to not come out of hiding at all. What can make it worse is a cat parent may try to prove the approaching person is actually a cat lover by picking the kitty up and forcing interaction. Even if this doesn’t result in injury to anyone, it’s very stressful to the cat and is totally counter-productive to the introduction process.
Use Proper Cat Etiquette
A proper greeting is actually very simple. You just need a finger. When you walk into a room where the cat is located, don’t approach her. Just get down on her level by sitting or kneeling and extend your index finger. Don’t put it in the cat’s face or wiggle it around like a toy. The purpose here isn’t to have the cat view your finger as something to bite – even in play. Just extend your finger at the same height as her nose.
In the cat world, cats approach each other and engage in a round of nose-to-nose sniffing to determine familiarity and do an initial scent investigation. When you extend your finger at the same height as the cat’s nose, it becomes a surrogate kitty nose. When you hold your finger still and don’t advance toward the cat, you give her the option to approach or not. By giving the cat that choice it immediately reduces her stress level.
If the cat approaches, she’ll do a little sniffing of your finger. If the cat wishes to interact further with you, she may rub their cheek or side of her head along your finger (this is a very affectionate gesture) or she may engage in flank rubbing your finger or hand (a respectful way to combine her scent with yours). If the cat advances toward you, it’s usually an indication that she’s ready for more interaction. It’s at that point that you may pet if the cat’s body language indicates relaxation. If, after sniffing your finger, the cat stays still or backs away, then she’s NOT ready for further interaction… at least not this time.
Practice Makes Perfect When Getting to Know a Cat
Continue to use your finger for the proper human-to-cat introduction, even if the first few times don’t result in the cat wanting to interact further with you. Continue to give offer choice and show the cat you aren’t a threat and you acknowledge proper feline etiquette. You’ll eventually win her over.
Need More Information?
For more information on cat behavior and training, refer to the books by Pam Johnson-Bennett. Pam’s books are available at bookstores and also online. We’ve included links to Amazon here on our website.
If you have a question about your cat’s behavior or health, contact your veterinarian. This article is not intended as a medical diagnosis nor is it a replacement for your cat’s regular veterinary care. This article is for general information purposes only.
