Problem Solving & Advice by Pam Johnson-Bennett Cat Behavior Expert & Best-selling Author
Do you have a cat who routinely seems to head toward the one visitor in your home who doesn’t like cats? Does your cat try everything to get close to the one guest who is allergic to cats? Is it some kind of radar? Does your cat take pleasure in watching your guests cringe in fear at the approaching feline? You can relax because it’s not some kind of kitty conspiracy.
The reason your cat can zero in on the visitors who dislike cats or the ones who are highly allergic is that person, in almost all cases, makes absolutely no attempt to interact. There’s no direct eye contact and you can bet that visitor won’t reach down to pet or hold your cat.
How Your Cat Views Visitors
Cats are territorial and the take comfort in familiarity and predictability. Your home is their territory and safe, familiar environment. When guests come over for a visit some cats view them with concern. After all, these visitors have an unfamiliar scent and they don’t move or sound at all like familiar family members. The cat lovers who visit your home may rush right over to greet the cat without paying attention to body language and signals being given that clearly indicate no interaction is wanted. The guest who immediately approaches your cat doesn’t give him time to do any kind of scent investigation or make a determination about whether the approaching human is a threat or not. The cat haters, or the people with cat allergies, however, will ignore the cat and this gives him all the freedom needed to check them out at a comfortable pace. Your cat doesn’t have to worry about being cornered. He has the choice of whether to engage or not, how fast, and how close to get. Those choices provide tremendous relief.
A Better Approach When it Comes to Your Cat and Your House Guests
If you know your cat views guests with concern or even fear, then inform them beforehand not to initiate any interaction. Let your cat feel comfortable enough to approach in his own time to do a scent investigation. The guests shouldn’t look directly at the cat, talk to him or attempt to touch him.
Use Treats
One tip to speed up the process is to have some cat treats conveniently stored by the door. This way, when guests come over, you can hand them a few pieces to gently toss to the cat if he approaches, or even if he doesn’t. This may help the cat associate something positive with the unfamiliar visitor. The treats you choose need to be ones your cat finds impossible to resist. Your guest shouldn’t try to get the cat to take the treat, but rather, just toss it nearby. The mood of the visit should be casual and relaxed. No eye contact — just a gentle tossing of the treat. Even if your cat doesn’t take the treat, that’s ok.
Proper Etiquette
After a few visits where your cat realizes he has the choice of whether to interact or not without the fear of being grabbed and held, he may start relaxing enough to approach more quickly. For the first couple of visits, your guests should remain focused on you and ignore the cat. Again, this action let’s the cat have control and choice.
If all goes well, during the next visit, if the cat approaches, inform your guest to merely reach out and extend an index finger for him to sniff. This is the equivalent of nose-to-nose sniffing that cats do with each other. Nose-to-nose sniffing is a very polite greeting and, if after that initial greeting, one or both cats want further interaction they will move toward each other. So if your cat sniffs the guest’s index finger and decides he’d like to be petted, he’ll probably rub against the finger or move closer to the guest. If he doesn’t want further interaction, he’ll stay in place or move away. Just make sure your cat always has the choice of whether to socialize or not.
Choice and Consent
Respect your cat’s choice when it comes to amount of interaction. Don’t try to convince him that the guest is a friend by picking up the cat and bringing him closer. All that will accomplish is to convince him that MORE distance is needed and no one can be trusted in this situation. Your cat needs the choice of whether to consent to more interaction or not.
Photo: Pam Johnson-Bennett
Playtime May Help
If your cat loves playtime, and seems comfortable enough to stay in the room, you can incorporate that into the visit. Start by using the interactive toy to initiate a game with your cat. If he feels comfortable, you can hand the toy over to the guest. Use an interactive toy with a long wand so it puts enough of a distance between the cat and your guest. The toy hand-off may need to be done after a few visits — it may not be something your cat is comfortable with the first time. Read his body language and make that decision based on his comfort level. Remember, it’s all about letting him set the pace.
Need More Information on cat behavior?
For more information on cat behavior and training, refer to the books by best-selling author Pam Johnson-Bennett. Pam’s books are available at bookstores and online. We’ve also included Amazon links here on our website.
